The Danger of “Hearing About It” – Why We Must Listen First

By Eldon Kibbey

 

The Anatomy of a Communication Breakdown

When was the last time you had a communication problem? Maybe you kept silent when you should have spoken up. Or maybe someone acted on what they thought was your reason for doing something. We’ve all dealt with those issues, so it’s important to think about the importance of real communication! We’ve all been there, and it highlights the importance of real communication!

The biblical account in Joshua 22 provides a vivid, timeless example of how easily a small act can spiral into a crisis when communication breaks down.

From Good Intentions to War

After helping the other tribes secure their land, the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh were commended for their efforts and freed to return to their own lands, to their families and their flocks.

On their way, they decided among themselves to build an altar so that the next generation would be able to tell the other tribes that they were serving the Lord.

Their mistake? They did not tell Joshua or any of the other tribes.

When the rest of the Israelites “heard of it,” the whole congregation gathered themselves at Shiloh to go up against them in war.

The Root of Miscommunication

Isn’t this where a lot of miscommunication originates? When someone “heard of it”? Rumors and gossip start so many difficulties! People hear something, form their own opinion about it, jump to conclusions, and they are ready to go to war! This dynamic sounds a lot like our daily news cycle, doesn’t it?

The Solution: Shut Up and Listen

Fortunately, rational heads prevailed, because they sent Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, and with him ten chiefs, to talk with the tribes on the east bank of the Jordan.

Initially, the delegation made the same mistake: they didn’t ask questions! They spouted their arguments, accusing these tribes of repeating things that had been experienced in the past, of those who had disobeyed God.

But then, a miraculous thing happened: they shut up and listened!

That was when they learned the truth! The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad called the altar Witness, “For,” they said, “it is a witness between us that the LORD is God.” So when Phinehas the priest and the leaders of the congregation heard the words which the sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad and the sons of Manasseh spoke, it pleased them, and they did not speak of going up against them in war to destroy the land.

Practical Takeaways for Your Daily Life

The lesson for us is clear and applies to every relationship:

• Speak Up: Sometimes we need to speak up to let our spouse know where we are going, instead of just leaving the house.

• Give the Benefit of the Doubt: Sometimes we need to give our kids the benefit of doubt, instead of perceiving that they are committing evil acts when we see them doing something.

• Ask Questions: Sometimes it is helpful to ask questions instead of sharing our suspicions.

• Listen: It’s always important to listen! Listening is one of the most important forms of communication!

Before you jump to a conclusion—or “go to war” over what you “heard of”—take a moment to ask and to listen. It could save a relationship.